18 Funny Adult Sms and one Liner (+18)

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1. What do politicians & porn stars have in common?

They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera!


2. The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of Sperm when Mating. Only 10% enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted Salty?!


3. Great door signs:

Gynecologist: Dr Jones at your cervix.

Septic tank truck: Yesterday's meals on wheels.

Plumber's office: We repair what ur husband fixed.

Tire shop: Invite us to ur next blowout.

Electrical shop: Let us remove ur shorts.

Maternity room: Push, Push, Push.


4. Man Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand stuff?

New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches, she was brand new.


5. Prof teaching muscle movement, asks a lady: Do you know what your asshole does when you have an orgasm?

Lady: Sure, he's at the office, working!


6. Similarity between a dick & matchstick?

Both have heads without brains, both flare up at slightiest friction, both fizzle out after showing valour for 2secs !!!


7. Santa on long tour asks Banta 2 inform if anything unusual haoens at home.

Banta SMSs after a month: Man who comes 2 Screw Ur Wife daily, didnt come today.


8. Why is a woman's pubic hair curly?

So that it won't poke a man in the eye!


9. Why is sex similar to shaving?

Well, because no matter how well u do it today, tomorrow u hav to do it again.


10. A hillarious spelling mistake behind a truck, saying: Put deeper at night!


11. Russian: Sir we got a huge order from usa for 16 inches condoms. I think it is to embrass us.

Boss: No problem! Complete the order and mark them SMALL SIZE.


12. What is Fashion Designing?

Too many brains working on too little clothes with too many ideas on how to cover two little areas.


13. Teacher: What do u know about Sensex?

Pappu When we have sex with Riya Sen, Raima Sen, Rimi Sen, Konkana Sen & Sushmita Sen etc. it's called Sen Sex!


14. Girl: Xcuse me brother, that's my seat.

Boy: OK! But I'm not ur brother, my father never fucked ur mom.

Girl: True, but my father did !


15. A football team loses their star player, Roger Dicks, due to an injury.

Next day a headline reads: Team to play without Dicks.

The manager calls up the newspaper and objects, so the editor changes the headline. It reads: Team to play with Dicks out.


16. Todays generation: Six year old boy to a four year old boy: Dude, I found a condom in the balcony.

Four year old boy: What’s a balcony ?


17. What's the difference between a thin prostitute and a counterfeit note?

One is a phony buck and the other is a boney fuck


18. The young couple were holding hands in the Nudist camp.

Guy: When I tell you I love you why do you always lower your eyes?

Girl answered shyly: To see if it's true

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  Posted on Thursday, September 10th, 2009 at 7:32 PM under   Funny SMS | RSS 2.0 Feed