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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

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The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

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I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

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The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

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I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

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If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.