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Big collection of Funny Adult SMS’s (+18)

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Sardarjii: ye roz roz condomn chalana, utarna, dalna, nikalna bohat musibat ha.

sardarnii: tusi plastic coating q nahin kara rehta.

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Pathan capture a boy, gave him a dice n said "if u get 1,2,3,4 or5, ma teri g**d maro ga.

Boy: or ager 6 aya toPathan: kabhi luddo khela ha? 6 ane pe dobara bari ati hai.

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A friend like u, is not boobs that can be suck, nor u r not pusy that can b lick, u r like a dick, that can b stand for me, so dear friend u r lund

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one boob says to other boob "sala laffra nichey wali gali me hota hai aur pakrey hum jatey hain"

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What did the dick say to the Condom?

'Cover me!!! I'm going in...'

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What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts. This is no

ordinary blow job!

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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!

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What is the dumbest part on a man's body?

The penis.

It has a head with no brain, it hangs out with two nuts and it lives around the corner from an asshole!

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I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand,

Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land....

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girls hostel me phone aya: rekha hai kya?”

warden ne pooncha aage kya lagati hai,

jawaab aaya abhi to pata nahi phele stayfree lagati thi.

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beta: papa condom kya hota hai?

papa: chal bhag mujhe nahi pata.

beta: tabhi to hum 7 bhai-bahen hain!

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ek reliance girl ki bra par likha tha

“karlo duniya mutthi mein”

to uske panty per kya likha hoga

“lifetime incoming free”

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palat kar dekh janeman, jigar me dum hum bhi rakte hai.

bra me do bomb tum rakhti ho to, chadi me ek gun hum bhi rakhte hai.

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raat ki tanhaaye main..

haat underwear ki gehariyee mein..

kuch mehsoos sa hota hai..

mat sataao usko zalim kyunki..

pappu bhi sota hai.

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thought of the day:-

school ki ghanti ya ladki,

dono mein se kisi ko bhi bajayoge,

to ander se bacche hi niklenge.

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jab rat ke 12 bajte hai.

hum mutthi lagate hai,

ahshan kisi ka lete nahi.

hatho se gujara kerte hai.

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miya aur bibi me bhayank jhagda ho gaya. miya gusse se tilmilata hua chillaya

gaand maar doonga!!!

bibi boli: age ki to sochte nahi, bus peeche pade rehte ho..

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judge: jab tum per rape ho raha tha tab tum kaisa mahsus kar rahi thi??

ladki: laddu agar jabardasti se bhi khilaya jaye to meetha hi lagta hai.

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an english lady asks pammi,

whats ur daily routine.

pammi replied: ki dassan, sara din chulle de agge, te sari raat bulee de agge!

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sperms talking to each other inside bantas polly: main doctor banuga, mainpilot

banuga,

after sometime banta goes to bathroom to masturbate. sperms to each

other.

“saala isne toh sara career barbaad kar dita.”

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girlfriend are like a ghadi ditergent

phele istemal karo phir vishvas karo

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similarity between gandhi & mallika !

dono ne kapde tyag diye. ek ne desh ke liye, doosre ne deshwasion ke liye. aaisi

azaadi aur kahan?

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the reaction of girls after exams & after sex is the same :-

1) kitna lamba tha, kaash thoda time aur mil jata

2) pehle kitna darr lag raha tha, baad mein pata hi nahi laga

jab ho gya to :-

3) mere to chhoot gya tha

4) teen ghante muje to saans hi nahi aayee

5) aaage ka to theek tha peeche ka kitna mushkil tha.

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rich man 2 poor man: arey ye to batao sex maza hai ya mehnat?

poor man: sahab maza hi hoga mehnat hoti to ye bhi aap humse karwate.

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man throws wifes bra out of the window, it falls on a mango seller..

he mutters: saale ne aam choos lia, aur chilke mere uper phek diye.

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matrinonial ad: wanted a girl, age no bar, height no bar, looks no bar, colour

no bar, caste no bar, money no bar, but sex bar bar bar bar...

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ek hijde ne army ke sare test pass karke jab sex test me gaya :

major oye tera lund hi nahi hai.

hijda-aapko mujse gun chalwani hai ya apni gand marvani hai?

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bahu, saas ki tange daba rahi thi, lehnga ooncha ho gaya,

bahu boli, pranam!

saas boli kisko?

bahu boli, sasur ki ranbhumi aur inki janambhumi ko..

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gujarati: aa underwear ni shu guarantee chhe?

merchant: underwear pahrine 12ma mala thi jump karo, gand phati jaase pann

underwear nai phate.

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what is tragedy of film sholay??

ek to thakur ki biwi mar gai thi aur uper se gabber ne us ke dono hath kat diye the

---------------------------------------------

beti, ma se: ma, lakda muze pasand hai, per wo bahut hi fat hai.

ma: beti tv chahe kitna bhi bada ho per remote to 7 inch ka hi hota hai na.

---------------------------------------------

tendulkar was having sex with malika she said

“sachin tumhari nuni pe to aids likha hai,”

sachin said

“aare khada to hone de,.. uspe adidas likha hai.”

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a girl goes 2 umbrella repair guy,

he says: upper ka kapda nikal k naya rod ander tak dalna padega.

girl says: kuch bbhi karo par pani ander nahi jana chahiye.

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do u know did the parachute get its name?

ans: a girl jumped out of the plane n her skirt went up, an indian saw up n said

kitna pyara-chut hai.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

What is pure Hindi name of Condom??

Rubber ki Chiknai yukt Prajanan virodhak mardana Ling ki topi.

---------------------------------------------

Blonde: I think my tits are full of water.

Doctor: How do u figure that?

Blonde: Everytime a guy squeezes them my pussy gets wet

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A man was fucking a nurse. She shouts: Aah it's painful.

Man: Kamini, daily u r injecting me where I don’t hv hole, I'm putting it in ur

hole & u say it hurts

-----------------------------------------

Latest product in the market: George Bush condoms ideal for fuckers who dont

know when to pull out

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Q: Who's senior: Penis or Vagina?

A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its honour.

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Sex poetry: It's not the length, it's not the size, it's not how many times u

can make it rise. It's not how well it fits, but how late it spits

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Kamra khushboo naal sajai baithe hain,

bed te navi chaddar bichayee baithe hain,

Saadi deewangi tan dekho

ohna ne raati auna hai

te asi duphar de hi condom charai baithe han

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What is Long & Hard, has a hole at the tip and when u insert it into a wet,

hairy & tight hole makes u feel better?

Vicks Inhaler

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When u don't know whether to luv or hate, when u r in confused state, don't

feel and don't debate, just sit alone & ...... MASTURBATE

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Whenever u feel low, depressed or useless, remember that u r the same sperm

that won a battle against a million others.

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Cricketer describing a nude girl:

There is no cover, there is no extra cover, there 2 silly points, 2 fine legs &

a deep gully, with little grass on the pitch.

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What is invisible sex?

A male Negro fucking a female Negro under moonless night in a coal mine wearing

a black condom.

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Hum Gire Hue ko Uthate hai,

Hum Bichhde Hue Ko Milate Hai,

In Short Hum Bra Banate Hain.

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70 yr old man: Doc meri age mein sex style kya hona chahiye

Doc: Doggy style.

Man: Aapke matlab peeche se…?

Doc: Nahin, sirf soongh aur chaat.

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Happiness is like penis; always looks small if u hold it in ur hands but when

u learn to share it, u'll realize how big & precious it is!

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Man: Kiss Karun?

Gal: Lipstick kharab hogi.

Man: Boob dabaun.?

Gal: T-shirt kharab hogi.?

Man: Fuck?

Gal: Period me hun.?

Man: Don't say loose motions hai.

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Women r the best Engines: Accepts any size of Piston, are self Lubricating,

start up with a Finger, automatic oil change every 4 week.

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Q: What's the definition of indefinitely?

A: When your balls are slapping up against her ass, you are in.....definitely.

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Q: Does penis deserve overtime & hazard pay?

A: Yes! Coz it works in deep, damp, hot tunnels, often head down & mostly in

night shifts!

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A prostitute's nursery rhyme:

One two lets screw,

Three four I'm a whore,

Five six suck the dick,

Seven eight ejaculate,

Nine ten fuck me again.

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3 men sitting in a cafe, all wanking.

Waitress: What the fuck are you all doing?

One points to a sign that reads: FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!

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Text msgs are like a blow job from an amateur prostitute......short, sweet and

cheap!

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Little Girl: Mom, I just found out that the boy next door has a penis like a

peanut.

Mommy: U mean it's small?

Little Girl: No, it's salty.

--------------------------------

3 Facts of Life:

Garib aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai.

Musibat aur penis kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai.

Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai.

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One day the PENIS tells the balls: Tonight v r goin for a party!

The balls reply: U bloody fuckin liar, u always get inside while v r left

outside!

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Q: If a married woman is called Polo... The mint with a hole, then what's an

unmarried woman called?

A: Center Fresh.

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To avoid condom related accident use 2 condoms with chilli powder in between

them if outer breaks she will know and if inner one breaks you will know!

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Q: What is the difference between a woman and a fridge?

A: A fridge does not moan when there is meat inside.

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Hey guys what do you think of this post let me know...........

Appreciate me to post more

Regards

"Tatoo"




  « Funny One liner…. Real Meaning of the words!!!! 10 funny Adult Jokes… (+18) »  

  Posted on Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 4:41 PM under   Funny SMS | RSS 2.0 Feed



Comments
sam () [ Reply ] 2010-07-14 23:15:47
very cool plz plz upload some more regularly
shabbir () [ Reply ] 2010-07-24 15:33:59
Judge:- tumne dhobi ki biwi ki izzat q luti? Santa:-me press krwane gya tha, dhobi ne kaha me khana kha raha hu, meri istri garm h tumhi mar lo....
lucky () [ Reply ] 2010-08-04 16:26:50
shabbir () [ Reply ] 2010-08-25 12:03:45
Guys send me good adult jokes on my mobile india 09940585251
sandip () [ Reply ] 2010-10-17 13:42:15
Malika to chemist:15 inch ka condom hai? Chemist:hai,kit ne du malika:abhi nahi par koi lene aaye to muje call karna. Aise joke ke liye muje call karo 9898664874 (gujrat)
jay () [ Reply ] 2011-02-05 18:19:12
ON LAALILOVE To 09870807070


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