When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .

Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?

Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here...

2. In the bus:

A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps

on your feet...

Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia..

...why don't you

try again.

3. At a funeral:

One of the teary-eyed people ask...

Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.

Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question:-

Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??

Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together:

When some distant aunt meets you after years

Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.

Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...

Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?

Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive. ..it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone

call...

Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?

Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu

tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently

shorter hair...

Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?

Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects

in your mouth...

Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?

Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office

asks...

Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.

Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ...........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!