New city, single you and single him. A polite ‘Excuse me...’ and before you can say Jack Robinson, you two are getting along like a house on fire. You try hard to pull away from his magnetism, but it seems the chemistry between you two is so great that neither of you really care where you are heading. He is so under your spell and oh-so attractive that there is not likely to be a great reason why you shouldn’t jump into bed with him rightaway!
However, take a step back and assess. It would save you many restless moments to realize that the moment you do so, you immediately lose the upper hand in the dating power dynamics. Sex creates a false sense of intimacy, so even if you were feeling iffy about a man, you'll suddenly crave commitment. That’s just how it is.
Also remember, this man might not be want the relationship to go any further than a one-night stand, while you may want to move forward, he's likely to be firm about his decision. You can only feel helpless in this kind of a situation as he's dictating the terms and levels of seriousness.
But, if you able to hold off sex, the more intrigued he will be, allowing you to set the pace and control how things develop. That's why it's so important to postpone sex for as long as you can - at least a month. Here are a few points for you to consider...
Men love a challenge
In the beginning of the chase, men want to get lucky, but they also want to make a connection. Even though he may turn on the charm, he'd rather you turn him down, than give in. Yes, it's contradictory. He obviously wants to have sex, but he loves a good challenge, and the more he has to work, the more enticing the prize will be. If he likes you, he's subconsciously hoping you'll fend him off because it makes you more desirable. Keep dangling the promise of sex and he'll have his heart set on you.
Sex will be explosive
The more you wait for sex, the better it is. In addition to locking in his interest, you're also building up the anticipation of what's to come. First-time sex isn't always the greatest, but because you've been looking forward to it for so long, it'll seem more intense. Plus, since you waited to do the deed until you felt comfortable with him, you'll feel more in charge of the situation.
You need to trust your feelings
It's no secret that good sex can cloud your judgment. If you click sexually with a man, you might overlook his flaws or inflate his good qualities to justify your reasons for sleeping with him.
But when you wait to have sex with him, you keep your eyes wide open. Since you've had a chance to get to know each other, you can trust that you're sleeping with him for the right reasons, not just because of intense physical attraction. Coming to the decision on your own terms, at the right time, not only boosts your confidence, but also makes you feel more empowered in the relationship.
