Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write ''click'' and I wrote ''click''."

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Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

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Customer:: "I''m having trouble installing M*cro$oft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you''ve done."
Customer: "I typed ''A:SETUP''."
Tech Support:: "Ma''am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says ''[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk''."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."

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Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$

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Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ''OK'' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

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Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."

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Tech Support:: "Type ''A:'' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"