Funny Sexy Adult Jokes

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Husband ne paan kharid ker

wife ko khany ke liye dia?

Wife: ap ne apne liye Q nahi liya?

Husband: mai is ke bghair bhi khamosh reh sakta hun

:)

Once a girl askd a boy-Y we have units to measure Weight,Height,Force,Speed,Distance etc. Bt nothin to measure Luv,Trust, Frndshp..

Y??

Boy thought for a while,

Took her in his arms,

Lookd into her deep eyes nd said-

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Dekh

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Dimag mat kha.

Already physics me fail hoon :)

फेस बुक पर लड़कियों के अपडेट पर लाईक और

कोमेंट का जो बवंडर उठता है उसे देखकर

दिल से यही प्रार्थना निकलती है

" अगले जनम मोहे बिटिया ही कीजो !!!!

A 24 year boy seeing out from the train window, shouted,

“Dad, look the trees are going behind!”

Dad smiled and a young couple … sitting nearby, looked at the 24

year old`s childish behavior with pity.

Suddenly he again exclaimed “Dad, look the clouds are running with us!”

The couple could`nt resist and said to the old man, “why dont you take ur son 2 a good doctor?”

Old man smiled and said “I did and we are just coming from the hospital,

my son was blind from birth, He Just Got His EYES TODAY” ….

Think before u speak… Do not try to judge each and everything in life just by seeing it :)

पिताजी : कैसा रहा तुम्हारा रिजल्ट?

बेटा: 5 विषय में फेल हो गया.

पिताजी गुस्से में : आज के बाद तुम मुझे अपना पिता मत कहना.

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बेटा : relax पिताजी. Chill !! स्कूल के टेस्ट में फेल हुआ हूँ, DNA टेस्ट में नहीं.

Irony of Indian women

Q: Do u believe in having sex with a total stranger?

A: Yuck! Never.

Q: Do u believe in arranged marriages?

A: Yes, of course.

Girl's FaceBook Status -

Traveled in a BUS after such a long time.. ?

Comments:

-- Awwwww.. muah..

-- Maybe next time we both can go together sweetie..! ;-)

-- You went without me ?? :'(

-- Wow! I also wanna experience it once..! :)

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Boy's Facebook Status -

Traveled in a BUS after such a long time.. :)

Comments:

-- Haan toh saale usme hum kya karein ??

-- Bas yehi aukaat hai teri !!

-- Saale ab tu rickshaw me jayega toh bhi status rakhega ??

-- Chuze baap ko bol ek cycle toh dila de kam se kam !!

-- Haan toh bhai ja.. conductor ban jaa uska !!

:)

Gal- Hey can i sit here?

Boy- Its all urs...

Gal- Do u mind if i take some water?

Boy- My pleasure

Gal- 'Bhaiya' agla station kaun sa hai?

Boy- Mere baap ne mere dimag me GPS nai fit kiya hai...seat khali kar mujhe neend arai hai :XXX

A girl was Toweling her wet Pussy

She enjoyed it and started rubbing it Vigorously until

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the Pussy cried Meaowww....and ran away.

Moral- Be kind to Animals :P

Ever since my Girlfriend got pregnant , a lot has changed.........

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Like ...... My name , adress and mobile number.. etc..

LOL

Preeto: How much did u spend abroad?

Banta: A Lakh.

Preeto: That`s Ridiculous!

Banta: It`s OK for u to say so coz u don`t smoke or drink and you`ve got ur own PUSSY

Dear girls,

When you ask a boy who they like and they say "nobody":

1% are telling the truth.

5% are lying.

94% that "nobody" is you.

Teacher :- Ye Kounsa TENSE hai ?

" India me Corruption

khatam ho Jayega...!"

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Student :- Future IMPOSSIBLE Tense.

Boy & Girl ( chatting )

Girl : What are you Doing?

Boy : I'm Talking With My Angel Now !!..:$

Girl : Awww... Do u Know That you are So Sweet ?

Boy : Yes , ohhh But My Angel Has just Signed Off So I'm Talking With U Now !! :P

Girl : Teri #@$%

Sometimes when I wanna be really romantic........ I light a candle when I masturbate.
A gay with heavy makeup standing on the roadside in late evening.

Englishman stops his car and asked, 'Are u a prostitute'?

Gay: No Baby, I am a Substitute.

Boy:

Mein tumhein bangla dilaonga,

car dilaonga,

Gold k dher lga dunga..

Girl:

Acha ye btao sham ko park aao gay na?

Boy:

Han agr Dost ne bike dedi to :-P

Traffic Cop : Didn't You Hear

My Whistle, Madam ?

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Girl : Yes, But I Don't

Like Flirting While I'm Driving..!! ;)

Wo aaj bhi Sardi me Thitur rahi hai dosto....

Maine 1 bar bas itna kaha tha ki...

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Sweater ke bine Katerina lagti ho

:)




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  Posted on Monday, January 16th, 2012 at 6:26 AM under   जबड़ा फाड़ | RSS 2.0 Feed