Q: Why are lawyers buried 12 feet underground?
A: Deep down their good.
Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a slimy scum-sucking scavenger, the other is just a fish.
Q: Why are lawyers great in bed?
A: They get so much practice screwing people.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Q:What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
A: Nothing, there are some things that even a pig won't do.
Q: Why didn't the doctor (any other misc. profession) pay the rent on his outhouse?
A: He didn't like the lawyer living downstairs.