The Moving Friend
"Nasrudin," a friend said one day, "I am moving to another village. Can I have your ring, so that I will remember you every time I look at it?"
Nasrudin replied, “Well, you might lose the ring and then forget about me. How about I don’t give you a ring in the first place—that way, every time that you look at your finger and don’t see a ring, you will definitely remember me.”
Nasrudin was shopping for clothes. He tried on a coat, and then took it off, and said to the storeowner, “Well, I don’t really want this. Take it and give me a pair of pants instead.”
The storeowner did, and then Nasrudin put the pants on and began walking out of the store. The storeowner stopped him and said, “Sir, you forgot to pay me for those pants.”
Nasrudin replied, “I exchanged the coat for these pants.”
The storeowner said, “But you did not pay for that coat, either.”
Nasrudin responded, “Of course I didn’t—why would I pay for something I chose not to take!”
The Loan Request
A friend asked Nasrudin, “Can I borrow 1000 toman from you for three months.”
“Well,” Nasrudin replied, “I can fulfill half of your loan request.”
“OK; that’s fine,” the friend said, “I’m sure I can get the other 500 toman somewhere else.”
“You misunderstood me,” Nasrudin replied. “The half of your loan request I agreed to was the time: the three months. As for the 1000 toman, I cannot give it to you.”
Can I Borrow Your Donkey?
A man knocked on Nasrudin’s door. When Nasrudin opened it, the friend asked, “Can I borrow your donkey?”
“I would love to help you,” Nasrudin replied, “but I have already lent it to someone else.”
Just then, a loud donkey noise came from Nasrudin’s yard.
“Hey,” the man said, “I just heard the donkey make a noise from your yard!”
Nasrudin quickly retorted, “Do you mean to tell me that you are going to take the word of a donkey over mine?”
Sack of Vegetables
Nasrudin snuck into someone’s garden and began putting vegetables in his sack. The owner saw him and shouted, “What are you doing in my garden?”
Nasrudin confidently responded, “The wind blew me here.”
“That sounds like BS to me,” the man replied, “but let’s assume that the wind did blow you here. Now then, how can you explain how those vegetables were pulled out from my garden?”
“Oh, that’s simple,” Nasrudin responded. “I had to grab them to stop myself from being thrown any further by the wind.”
“Well,” the man continued, “then tell me this—how did the vegetables get in your sack?”
“You know what,” Nasrudin said, “I was just standing here and wondering that same thing myself!”
What in the World Were You Smuggling?
Nasrudin the smuggler was leading a donkey that had bundles of straw on its back. An experienced border inspector spotted Nasrudin coming to his border.
“Halt,” the inspector said. “What is your business here?”
“I am an honest smuggler!” replied Nasrudin.
“Oh, really?” said the inspector. “Well, let me search those straw bundles. If I find something in them, then you are required to pay a border fee!”
“Do as you wish, “Nasrudin replied, “but you will not find anything in those bundles.”
The inspector intensively searched and took apart the bundles, but could not find a single thing in them. He turned to Nasrudin and said, “You have managed to get one by me today. You may pass the border.”
Nasrudin crossed the border with his donkey while the annoyed inspector looked on. And then the very next day, Nasrudin once again came to the border with a straw-carrying donkey. The inspector saw Nasrudin coming and thought, “I’ll get him for sure this time.”
He checked the bundles of straw again, and then searched through Nasrudin’s clothing, and even went through the donkey’s harness. But once again he came up empty handed and had to let Nasrudin pass.
This same pattern continued every day for several years, and every day Nasrudin wore more and more extravagant clothing and jewelry that indicated he was getting wealthier. Eventually, the inspector retired from his longtime job, but even in retirement he still wondered about the man with the straw-carrying donkey.
“I should have checked that donkey’s mouth more extensively,” he thought to himself. “Or maybe he hid something in the donkey’s rectum.”
Then one day he spotted Nasrudin’s face in a crowd. “Hey,” the inspector said, “I know you! You are that man who came to my border everyday for all those years with a straw-carrying donkey. Please, sir, I must talk to you.”
Nasrudin came towards him and the inspector continued talking. “My friend, I always wondered what you were smuggling past my border everyday. Just between you and me, you must tell me. I must know. What in the world were you smuggling for all those years? I must know!”
Nasrudin simply replied, “donkeys.”
The Donkey Seller
Nasrudin brought his donkey to sell at the bazaar, but every time a customer wanted to inspect it, the donkey began biting and being uncooperative.
One man asked Nasrudin, “Do you really expect to sell a donkey that behaves like that?”
Nasrudin replied, “Not really; I just brought him here so other people would experience what I have to put up with every day!”
Nasrudin Gets Engaged
Nasrudin got engaged to a woman. The fiancée’s mother invited Nasrudin to her house to ask him some questions.
“Tell me,” she said, “are you sure this is the first time you are getting married?”
“Yes,” Nasrudin replied, “I swear on my two kids that I have never been married before.”