10 weird facts about JAPAN (+18)

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1. Japan is full of little Butt Pirates: Watch your butt, because little kids love sticking their finger up it. It’s called Kancho, and it’s not pleasant, especially if you don’t know what’s going on.

2. Japan is the only place with four distinct seasons: This comes from the fabulous files of the Nihonjinron. People don’t really believe most of the stuff here anymore (like Japanese evolved from a separate superior monkey, Japanese brains are different thus only Japanese can truly learn Japanese, etc), but I’ve found that the season one is the most prevalent of the bunch.

3. There are #$#$%ing Gigantic Hornets: These hornets are not to be messed with. They’re huge, deadly, and wipe the floor with weak European bees. I fear.

4. Monkeys like hot baths: There are lots of hot springs in Japan, and in the last fifty years monkeys figured out they could stay warm in them. I really want to go to there.

5. Japanese novels remind me of LSD: Enough said?

6. Japanese Commercials: I love ‘em – Just do a search on YouTube for “Japanese Commercials” and you’ll wonder where the last six hours went.

7. Everything seems to have Mayonnaise on it: Pizza, sushi, mayo on mayo with extra mayo… You name it. There are even all-mayonnaise restaurants in existence.

8. People Bathe at night: Maybe you don’t think this one is weird – this is how I got to grow up, and it was wonderful in college because I got the dorm showers all to myself. How do you sleep at night being dirty, anyways?

9. Christmas is ridiculous…ly awesome: What? You don’t get a Christmas cake, celebrate Santa’s birthday, and get your Christmas KFC chicken? You’re missing out.

10. Everything is available via vending machines: Drinks, hot drinks, hot food, t-shirts, used underwear, alcohol, cigarettes, toys, porn, and who knows what else. In fact, I don’t want to know.

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